Girls can be legitimate baseball fans – and not just butt watchers

Just in case you haven’t heard, Wednesday was Alex Rodriguez’s first game after his year long suspension. And if you’ve really been living under a rock, you may not have heard that he’s approaching 40 years old, has two surgically repaired hips and hasn’t played baseball in 17 months.

The disadvantage to writing, instead of speaking, is that you cannot hear the sarcasm.

If you’ve ever read just about anything I’ve ever written, you know that I am – however stupidly – an Alex Rodriguez fan. I’m not simply cheering for the underdog or hoping for an epic comeback; he has literally been my favorite player since I started watching baseball in 1997. Even through through embarrassments, and the scandals, and the PED usage.

Naturally, the cover of the New York Post on Thursday pissed me off – so much so that I’m writing about it days later.

https://nesncom.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/alex-rodriguez-new-york-post.jpg?w=400&h=452

Several times I tried to write about the stupidity of this cover. Basically…this is the best they can do? I’ve heard just about ever A-Rod joke out there (some I even find funny) but they have to just beat a dead horse and mention the PED use with an asterisk? They need new writers to come up with something that’s at least creative.

Rather than just writing a pro-Rodriguez post, and since the New York Post clearly needs some help coming up with newsworthy stories (a former MVP returning to baseball actually isn’t the only thing happening in Florida right now!), I decided to take a more creative approach.

Here are 25 things the New York Post could write about instead –

  1. Tyler Austin’s homerun
  2. Greg Bird’s homerun
  3. Jake Cave’s homerun
  4. Ramon Flores’ homerun
  5. Aaron Judge’s homerun
  6. None of the major league power hitters have hit a homerun
  7. Aaron Judge leads the team with 4 walks (several others have 1 or 2 walks). Aparently hitting the strike zone on a 6’7” player is difficult.
  8. Didi Gregorius’ amazing defensive plays at shortstop
  9. Derek Jeter is still retired; excitement for Didi won’t discredit Jeter’s career
  10. Cashman wants to retire the captaincy
  11. If we had to choose a captain today, who would it be? (Brett Gardner)
  12. Beltran isn’t concerned about his health, so why should we be?
  13. Pinstripes make Andrew Miller look even taller
  14. Unsurprisingly, Stephen Drew made an error in his first game
  15. Luis Severino pitched to Ryan Howard like a champ
  16. Did Nathan Eovaldi throw anything under 95mph?
  17. The Yankees have no farm system” (please refer to points 1-7)
  18. Who will be the closer?!
  19. Despite watching every pitch like a hawk, Tanaka’s arm has not fallen apart
  20. What’s Jeffery Maier up to these days?
  21. Teixeira’s diet
  22. Searching for left handed relievers? We have them all.
  23. CC weighs in at 305lbs and Yankee fans rejoice
  24. How do you pronounce Jagielo? Higashioka?
  25. When will George Costanza’s 0 be retired to Monument Park?

Not that I’m telling the New York Post how to do their job, but any of these topics would be both more interesting than repeatedly bashing Alex Rodriguez’s past mistakes, and will not further contribute to the A-Rod fatigue most Yankee fans are currently experiencing.

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